Thursday, 27 April 2017

X means a quick word from our sponsor

We interrupt this A to Z to bring you a quick word from our sponsor

Well actually that is not entirely true. You see I was pondering which old post will I pinch for the letter X  and then I thought . . . Well this A to Z has been a right old Hodge Podge of things and that is for sure and no one really cares now; everyone is thinking I HAVE NEARLY MADE IT . . . So I thought what I need is a short commercial break and unfortunately I only have the one and it has been ages since it was posted so here for your further entertainment is the Letter X which stands for  . . .

The Elixir of Everything 

Luckily there is an X in that so Phew thats my excuse for using it.

Have you ever wondered how to get rid of those grey hairs?
Blotchy skin marks
That annoying scratch on the table
Wondered how to stop the cat running up the curtains
Is your car running badly?
Does your mind wander, do you need to focus on that exam next week
Worried you might fail that drugs test in the world cup quarter finals.
Have your shoes lost their shine
Are you getting old and wish to look younger
Want to Lose Weight
Extinguish that Chip pan fire
Is your goldfish looking limp and lifeless?
Do you wish you could roller-skate, climb mountains, and play chess?
Is that stubborn stain on the carpet playing on your mind?
Do you get sea sick, can't sleep or have hay fever
Does that favourite old chair have woodworm?
Want to be the life and soul of the party
Become fabulously rich
Sing like Tom Waits
Swim like a dolphin
Have shiny teeth like a film star
Become a film star
Would you like to be able to turn invisible in restaurants?
Catch frogs with your X rays eyes
Ride a bicycle
Add some extra spiciness to that takeaway curry
Having bother with rats, cockroaches, constipation or embarrassing itches.
Are those drains blocked?
Would you like that lawn mower to start first time?
Have the perfect tan
Stop the Christmas tree losing it needles.
Play guitar like Eddie Van Halen
Polish those old floor boards
Stop those slugs eating your lettuce.

Yes you need Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires
World famous Elixir of Everything.
Available at all leading chemists
Vets and hardware shops. . . . NOW

Quote I AM AN IDIOT 2345 at any leader retailer to get two for the price of one.
Limited stocks available
Terms and conditions apply
Batteries not included.

Professor Franklin F F Frankenzompires
World famous
Elixir of Everything.
And everything will seem better


  1. The last paragraph is the best. I would laugh so hard if I was working as a cashier and someone said that to me.

    Once Upon a Time

    1. I used to own an art gallery and folk would say some very strange things at times.

  2. Ha ha ha!
    *insert Fry "take my money" meme here*
    Gotta run right out and get some, along with the batteries. Ha ha ha. Nice work, Rob.

    J -- Co-host of the #AtoZchallenge, Debut Author Interviewer, Reference and Speculative Fiction Writer

    1. Sold . . . . . Please note there may be side effects, but apart from your sides the rest of you will be fine.