Tuesday 15 September 2015

How (NOT) to respond in important meetings





I spent today at an important meeting, well sort of important, I will admit right now that unless I have some paper to hand to make notes on I am not good at important meetings. Unfortunately I did not have any paper today to make notes on, so all was not well and I got a bit distracted and started to join in the meeting. Sadly the acoustics were extremely bad and much of the time folk could not hear what people were saying so some of the meeting was confused. Apparently my Indian war chant did not help matters or pointing out that the battered chicken things on the lunch buffet looked just like deep fried rat. 

Then the man next to me started complaining about the fact he could not hear the speaker so I said . . .  HALF PAST SEVEN BUT I THINK IT STOPS IN BIRMINGHAM AND YOU WILL NEED TO TAKE A CLEAN TEA BAG. . . .  He did not speak to me after that and thought I was a mad man. I did explain I did not have a piece of paper to take notes, but by then the meeting was well into the afternoon so even if I did get some, time was against me. 

To tell the truth I don’t actually take real notes at these meetings I draw Zombies and the like and pretend to take notes. Generally I find no one is that interested in what I am drawing and assume I need to take notes, and I do look up at key moments and nod and look at folk in a knowing way saying. . . . I QUITE AGREE . . . . WELL SAID. . . and then carry on drawing. But not being able to do this means the little devil sat on my shoulder whispers stuff like . . . GO ON SING SOME RED INDIAN SONGS. . . . I am rather good at Red Indian; I think I may have been one in a previous life which would also explain why I like pointy sticks and one of my favourite saying to say (not Write) is . . . WHITE MAN SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE . . .  No I really love that saying because it is so often true.

Once it was all over I managed to assist in slightly breaking part of the display, I was not the main person involved I merely pointed out that if they took it apart in a certain way in might not work, and I was right it didn’t.

I think the next important meeting is in December so I will make sure I go with paper next time rather than assume it will be supplied.

OOOOo I found a dead moth tonight on the patio, I hope his mates don’t think it was my fault that might be a problem. It is getting dark very early these days, I think summer might have vanished for the year with plans to stay in warmer parts of the world for a while. . . DAMN

6 comments:

  1. I would take grid paper (I think it was probably quarter inch grid) and create elaborate repeating designs while listening in meetings at work. It helped me focus on what was being said while not looking at the speaker(s) or being distracted by other people in the room. Of course, other people with tiny minds and no imagination didn't understand. That was twenty years ago and now I am a commercial artist instead of a scientist on a daily basis. Dreams and schemes can come true.

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    1. I am trying to dream and scheme to be a grumpy lazy chap who is allowed to be grumpy and lazy. I find I have almost mastered the first part but folk have not got the hang of the second part yet.

      I entirely approve and agree with your meeting technique, it is why I draw or doodle in meetings

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  2. The image of you screeching an Indian War Chant part way through a meeting, just made me propel my double chocolate mocha, out of my nostrils. Thanks for that Mr Z.

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    1. It did not have the same effect in the meeting, but the acoustics were very bad indeed . . . . I would like to think of it as more melodic that screeching Miss Lily.

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  3. I don't react well in meetings.

    The one I went to meant I had to travel 100 miles and be there by 9am. There was no food or hot drinks (apart from an office coffee machine, but I don't drink coffee so that was no good).

    I was in a very bad mood and when I was told not to ask any questions until the end as it puts of the speaker, I grabbed my coat said something along the lines of "£$*£$£$ off you little $(£&%....!" and then went home.

    They have never asked me back.

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    1. Mr H I have to say I did smile when I read this, sadly for the moment I have to sort of play the game a bit.I just sort of have the odd little turn like being a Red Indian. At the last one I was at there was team building and I ended up in a team of one when the rest of the team I was in ran off and left me. They are all nice folk but I hate meetings and the drinks are out of those Thermos flasks where you press the button on the top like mad to get some not hot water.

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