Saturday 15 June 2013

Rockets, Zombies and Blow Pipes

There I was minding my own business pottering about (again), I know I have done a lot of pottering about of late but it is summer, OK it was summer it sort of vanished about the same time as dad dropped his favourite knife that he uses for loads of jobs into the atomiser expansion tank on the weather machine. He is not happy he saw this old knife (a old bread knife) as a trusty friend he has had for years and it is now deep in a tank out of reach and it appears to have ruined the weather too.



Right to get back to the point I was pottering sorting out a large crocodile for those pesky kids back at the school, I use the word pesky because it makes me sound like the baddy in that cartoon with the dog, sorry as I was saying I was sorting out a crocodile when all of a sudden I was stabbed in the back (no not dads knife) but a poisonous dart from what I perceived was most likely a blow pipe used by one of the woods Zombies frustrated by their inability to cross the now famous Zombie Defence Trench. It is the first time I have been hit by a poisonous dart from a Zombie blow pipe and after getting it out and no it was not just a splinter of wood as suggested by mum who has no experience of Zombie poisonous darts or blow pies (sorry pipes) I went on the attack by making silly faces at them, Zombies hate that. It plainly worked because The Zombies vanished as if they had never been there in the first place and I was then free to continue my day.



The Ghost Writer went off to sort a computer out that had sort of fallen onto a floor accidently while its user played some game that involve killing loads of things including Zombies I think, apparently he got a little too keen and killed his computer instead. However it was a fix the Ghost Writer could not do as the computer had been thrown into a skip, and by now is probably on its way to China or India to be stripped for parts and turned into a fruit bowl.

I on the other hand did some gorilla gardening and got two large posts to make a structure in the back patio, part of the great master plan to create a Moroccan Patio Garden in the backwaters of rural Shropshire, assuming the weather machine can do something about the weather, well lets face it dad will want his favourite knife back as its his DIY knife that does many many things like one of those Swiss Army Knifes only his has just the one long blade not twenty three and a thing to remove stones from the hoof of a horse.




If you are wondering about the picture of the rocket Mr Jones is saying “If the mountain won't come to Muhammad then Muhammad must go to the mountain”.  Oooooo that made Charles and Quentin’s (back in GCHQ) ears perk up a bit, sorry chaps its just an old saying. . . . .   

8 comments:

  1. Maybe you should get your dad a new knife for father's day. You could it pull it out and brandish it around at dinnertime shouting "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife" then hurl towards your dad for him to catch.

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    1. That is the sort of thing that is very likely to happen but It sounds a little unsafe I might just stick with the home-made flame thrower.

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  2. I have been thinking about these zombies of yours and wonder if they might be lost campers from my campsite? A few of them tell me they like long walks and by the look them, they could be zombies, although they have never tried to eat me, but I am mainly grizzle and probably don't look very appetising to cannibalistic campers and/or zombies.
    I've not seen any with blow pipes though, but I have never really looked for them until now.

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    1. I think a Zombie themed Camp site has all the ingredients to make you a fortune Mr H all that is needed is a bit more brain power . . . . . . HAH AHHAHAH HHAHAHH HAHAHHAH HAh ha hah ah ah hah ahah ahh h hah ha

      I jest but just think Zombie theme nights and the Zombie Disco, Zombie Bingo plus Zombie Racing and Spot the Zombie. The whole idea is a dead cert . . . . . HAH HAHAHHAH hah ah ah hahah ah aha hha hah ah ahha.

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  3. I had a veRy similar day. I received two pineapples as a Father's Day present from someone I am not even a father to, and I fixed a hair dryer with stainless steel nuts and washers. Today one of my real children is taking me to an E.T. movie about Superman. I woke up to shows about ET's playing on the teleBision, so I am learning alot today.

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    1. Receiving pineapples from non-children seems good to me Mr ESB, just think if all the children who are not your children gave you pineapples you would have a lot of pineapples.

      All I really know about extra terrestrials is they use unusual building materials for their houses.

      ET Foam Home . . . . . HAH HAHAHHAH HAH HA HAHH AH HAH Ah hah ah ah hah h ah hhah hhah

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    2. Foam home .... HahahaHAHAhahahahaHAHAhahahahahahahahahah...ah very nice. I even asked her if she wanted a pineapple plant, but she declined. Her smaLL children might be incompatible with them. She did crack my wife up laughing when she was talking to her trying to decide what to get me for a present. She asked my wife, "Where do you buy pineapple seeds?", and then Tamie eXplained how pineapples grow. I did notice this week that my very oldest pineapple plant appears to be dead but it is mixed in with two other plants that grew out of it, so I have 8 now instead of 9. Well, I must go now to prepare lunch for Cooper, and get ready for the cinematic eXperience. I forgot to ask if The Man of Steel was going to be in three dee.

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