Wednesday 30 January 2013

a marvel of modern science or the diabolical weapon of aliens?


The winds were very windy again today, as they have been for several days now and this made the physics teacher think to himself, we should have another go at the experiment with wind turbines where we make wind turbines. In order to avoid the controversy of last time where we sort of ended up with a huge windmill on the school roof we formed small groups. Myself, Esmeralda and Freddie and his ferret were one group. Because of the wind speed we opted for the inverted conical helix blades of the Edwardian era which never worked well back then because they were make of cast iron. Yes a wind turbine made of cast iron may have longevity but its fundamental flaw is that at twenty eight tons for each blade if never rotates, and they just gave the industry a bad name. Ours was made of poly-carbon laminate filled with carbon fibre reinforced polymer foam and produced in an environmentally controlled environment to align the crystalline structure of the structure to produce maximum rigidity. It was as the Physics teacher said a marvel of modern science and worth at least 3 house points.



It was at this point that things started to go wrong Esmeralda thought she should get at least 10 house points and that the physics teacher was not giving our marvel of modern science its full recognition as something really special, more special than the turbine blades made by the smarmy clever dick teachers pets who he had been given 5 house points. Although give then their due, they had also produced their own generator by that point and were supplying the school with most of its power needs.

So Esmeralda threw our inverted conical helix blades out of the window where in the wind they spun at high speed, up into the wind which was very very windy. The physics teacher who is very good at physics was able to estimate that they must have reached a rotational speed of at least 10,000 RPM (revs per minute)  as they blow across the hockey pitch where the semi-final of the inter school hockey tournament was just starting.

As Esmeralda said if they had just ducked there would have been no reason to call all those ambulances and the police out, luckily the police have said it appears to be some sort of diabolical weapon created by evil alien monsters and we must be vigilant. The headmaster and the physics teacher have decided that it is best to say nothing as these sorts of things are not good publicity for an up and coming academy of learning where we learn stuff……..  

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4 comments:

  1. OUCH! I actually winced as Esmeralda threw the inverted conical helix blades out of the window and it went spinning towards the hockey pitch.

    Why have none of the teachers had a nervous breakdown yet??

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    1. Yes you would think that the teachers would breakdown and not be able to cope, but the truth is that they are as mad as the pupils and despite the academy status of my cyberspace school the truth is these are the teachers of the good old comprehensive system and so it is all water off a ducks back. Well except for the odd loss of limb and occasional vital organ, but they are merely flesh wounds to teachers these days

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  2. I love the Edwardian cast iron blades, They had to work with what they had. Even their clothes were cast iron.

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    1. Riveting stuff Mr Van H . . . . . HAH HAH AH HAh ahh ah hah hahahahh aahh ah hahah haha hah ha hah hh ahahahah hha ha ha

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