Tuesday 11 September 2012

The Spider and the Chandelier, a battle of wills.


Today started in a battle of wills, there was Will the Spider and Will the Fly, now if you think about this, it all seems a bit one sided, lets face it spiders eat flies and Will the Spider is not small. But flies can fly which gives then an advantage in manoeuvrability and spiders no matter how big they are have an Achilles heel or was it his ankle or big toe, no matter. Yes spiders can not get out of the bath, even a fifteen foot mutant spider as long as the bath is big enough. So this morning Will the Spider was well trapped and I had to save him by throwing him out of the house, he was not entirely pleased but the rule is do your job or out you go and he did not catch Will the Fly, who is still flying about and sniggering now. Not a good move after all look what happened to Brian yesterday (Now look don’t tell me you don’t know ……… really, I don’t write all this just for fun you know?)



Interestingly Esmeralda who we have discovered is in fact the strange robot like person in the silver suit who bleeps a lot and draws pictures of ancient mythical creatures or visa versa, (Yes you need to read all this everyday) can not get out of a bath either. This is because all her bionic parts are not water tight so she needs to remove most of herself to have a bath, so for the foreseeable future she is taking  showers, but takes an umbrella with her, she is also excused swimming for now.

As is normal in a normal day in Britain it rained on and off and Autumn is now nibbling  at those dodgy heels of Achilles, even dads weather machine is switched to Autumn.

Not much happened again in school, I think with it being the first full week back at school there is a certain amount of gloom and doom. All those long weeks before Santa turns up and goes HO HO HO, and I have recently discovered that there is no Santa, it is just the Head Boy dressed up as Santa so it will be me this year. Apparently it is important that the new pupils do not find out and it is an unwritten rule that this news is never written down in order not to spoil the myths of Christmas… …… ….. ..DAMN …. ….. ….. HO HO AH     

I have made a temporary chandelier above the dinning table because of technical problems with the previous light, I will say one word on this technical problem ………. IKEA….



And mum and dad have bought new phones for the house in order that we can hit the old ones with a large sledge hammer or feed them to the dog or both…..

OK I’m off again now to look in the bath for spiders.

.

6 comments:

  1. Spiders appear in my bath all the time, and even though I know they can't get out I still steer clear until they're gone; I have a very irrational fear. The other day there was a spider on the wall next to the stairs, which resulted in me staying at the top of the stairs until my mum came home to get rid of it! I'm a big wimp, obviously; I admire you for being able to rescue Will the spider from the bath!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. British spiders are quite cool critters, OK yes they are mean killing machines but they are tiny and we are huge in their eyes (they have a lot of eyes). So although we tend to think yicks a spider they in fact are thinking yicks a human.

      I get bitten by all sorts of beasts in the garden, but never spiders so for that reason I prefer them to some of the other things.

      Delete
  2. I really hate spiders, it scares me a lot. I love your chandelier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just think of a spider as a chandelier that can walk and it will make all the difference.

      Delete
  3. Nice chandelier! Look at the bulbs on that beauty! Phwoar!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Mr Addman I hope the holiday went well; glad you were not blown away arriving in a strange land with a lion, a scarecrow and a tin man. and forced to follow a yellow brick road meeting really weird people as you travelled.

      Hang on that sounds like life in cyberspace....

      Delete