Friday, 22 June 2012
The Cultural Olympiad, Olympic Art and a man called Kevin
Myself and the Ghost Writer have moved the Cultural Olympian to his new location where a man called Kevin who apparently is famous (I think) is going to do life painting and also paint a man. When I say paint a man he is not painting a picture of a man but is painting the man (I think, or so I am told). I was also told the man is now grumbling because he has just found out that where he is being painted (that’s the building not which part of him) has not got a shower in it so he will remain painted for some time. In fact he may not be allowed on the train home for being too glossy rather that a nice matt emulsion, although he could claim discrimination on the grounds of shininess.
Anyway it took much longer to move the Sculpture than anticipated because it appears that someone lost Kevin. It’s the little things like this that can cause all sorts of problems in the Olympics; back in the days of the Greek Olympics it was common to loose people and once the famous Keviniox Kliniox painted a discus thrower in a rather good stone effect paint much like my own Olympic art. But the paint was rather thick and the discus thrower found he was unable to move as the paint dried. Then Keviniox Kliniox got distracted by a mad ceilidh or what ever the Greek equivalent was and in the clear up the discus thrower was stored away by mistake. Which is why he looks so life like and his eyes appear to follow you round the room, because his eyes are following you round the room. Sometimes people say they can hear the distant call of “ Agotious o Gearious” Latin for ‘It is not the winning it is the partaking of parties’ but what the discus thrower is saying is “A gottle o geer” that’s a bottle of beer when you cant move your lips due to a thick layer of stone effect paint.
The Ghost Writer was in the grey office today and it appears that in another grey office one person shouted at another person, it appears that grey is not a good colour for an office. I am told by the Ghost Writer that it is a good colour for a spaceship as it gives it street cred, where aliens walking out of a pink spacecraft just don’t appear scary. He thinks most offices end up grey because they are an alien environment to most humans and anyone looking happy must be an alien and avoided or they will suck your brains out and steal your photos of their strange spherical Nano-spacecraft.
If none of that made sense to you then it is one of two reasons the first is you are not reading my story everyday which is naughty; the second is you are a normal rational human being …….. Mum just said IDIOT